Originally published: March 28th, 2011
“I can’t fathom any reasons to leave your hometown. It’s the place you’re from. It’s your home…”
She scrunches her nose up as she reads the post office advertising board, with absolutely no desire to hear my response and I have no more mental bandwidth to deal with her negative energy and closed mind.
This is the general reaction I get from people when I come out of the wanderlust closet. Maybe it’s my problem? Maybe I should just understand that some people simply don’t get it and become immune to the sad eyes thrown in my direction, along with the condescending psycho-analogies that echo; “I do worry about you, Anthony.”
No need to worry about me; I may not know 100% what I want from life, but one thing I’m damn sure about is – I am pretty aware of what I don’t want! I can categorically state that I don’t want to die in this city. More to the point, I don’t want to live in this city and I need to leave my hometown of birth.
It’s a case of necessity, not a choice. This place is suffocating me.
It always has.
I feel like a butterfly in a jar with a tight, rigidly closed lid and I terribly need to BREATHE. This love story has definitely finished its honeymoon period and to be perfectly honest – I don’t think we ever had one.
Sounds dramatic, right?
Maybe, but it’s 100% real and I know that the place where I was born is not my true “home.” If you can relate, this post should guide you.
Leave Your Hometown & Never Look Back!
Why would anyone want to leave their hometown? How do you know when it is time to throw caution to the wind and leave your city?
Below I’ve listed some alarm signals to let you know when it’s time for a serious change of postcode/zipcode. Some of these red flag signs and reasons to leave your hometown are very personal to me and some will be relevant to everyone who feels this unnerving sense of captivity.
Important edit: I wrote this over 10 years ago and leaving my hometown changed my life in so many ways, it was the best decision I have ever made, so I am very qualified to give guidance here. let’s dig and get you out of there for good! This may also explain why some parts are spoken in the present tense and others in the past tense, sorry about that.
You’re Bored & Want To Feel Challenged
Even though I do mostly believe that bored people are usually just boring – the wanderlust version of this feeling is a different, special type of boredom.
I’m talking to those amongst us who know deep down that their brain is not being stimulated in the way it needs in order for them to stay happy. Some people are ok with the simple life and that’s fair enough, we’re all different.
But if you’re like a human Border Collie and crave constant mental stimulation that your hometown can’t provide, it’s time to go looking for that adventure that you know in your heart of hearts that you deserve.
You Experience an Identity Crisis on a Regular Basis
Do I really think that?
Am I just saying that because my friends are saying the same thing? Why don’t people get me?
Do I even get me?!
There’s nothing like a good change of scenery for a fresh perspective to work out who you really are. Trust me. I found out more about myself leaving my hometown after even 3 months compared to the 28 years I spent there.
Independence & Self-Autonomy
Being independent is important in life because it means that you trust in yourself and you don’t need the people you spend time with, but you want to spend time with them.
There’s nothing wrong with missing people or feeling like you need good people in your life for the long run but if you can become truly independent you will have the best of both worlds; happy when alone and happy when with the right type of people.
The quest for independence can be found at home to some degree, but it is quite simply on another level if you have faith in yourself and your own destiny by putting all of your eggs in one basket by starting all over again in a new city.
You Will Become More Confident
Independence and confidence are closely linked, but you will struggle to have the former without the latter. Leaving your hometown shows that you mean business and once things start going your way you will walk with your shoulders pulled more back and your chin raised higher.
I appreciate that sounds a bit wanky, but I swear it’s true.
On a visceral level, you will be aware that you did something bold and took a chance on yourself. It won’t happen overnight but with each step towards taking personal accountability, you will internally grow. And that first step (for those who can’t hear me at the back) is to leave your hometown.
You’re Single & Your Dating Pool is Depressing
Cringe approaching. I got talking to a lad on Saturday night and it turned out we have not one, not two – but three of the same ex-girlfriends.
*Plays Redneck banjo.*
That’s what you get with a really small hometown you can’t go and buy a pint of milk without everyone knowing about it. If your hometown is becoming alarmingly small and you’re single it may be time for a change; get out of there and your dating life will improve tenfolds, trust me!
You’re Surrounded By Negative Energy
Maybe you have people in your life who are vampires of energy and they bring you down every time you speak to them, or you want to move on from a tragedy, or personal trauma.
Or maybe your hometown just doesn’t have a lot of potential in comparison to others.
The cold hard fact is that life is not fair and some cities are simply better than others (or at least better for you as an individual). If your hometown is the boulevard of broken dreams, or you are feeling alone in a crowded room, now could be the time to start researching others.
Meeting Like-Minded People
If you feel like the black sheep of your friends, family, or just your hometown in general then expecting people to suddenly start thinking like you and “getting” you is insanity.
In order to find your people you must branch out and go looking for them. No one is going to come and save you, only you can do that.
If it helps with your mental health and this seemingly mammoth task ahead of you, try reframing “leaving my hometown” to “searching for my people” instead.
There are a lot of weirdoes out there just like you with open arms, ready for you to be a part of their tribe.
You Can Finish off Every Story You Hear…
…Because you’ve heard it 90,000,861 bloody times over. You desperately need new information in your rapidly dying brain cells as you’ve literally heard it all before.
People are desperately bringing up fun old memories because they have no desire to make any new ones.
Get the hell out of there.
Travel & Freedom
Moving to a new city absolutely classes as travelling, it doesn’t have to be galivanting around the world with a backpack, no fixed abode or plan and going on wild adventures (although I do highly recommend it).
Relocating is an adventure and if you’re looking for reasons to leave your hometown then I can’t think of a better one than jumping into the unknown via travel… ultimate freedom.
There is no other feeling like it.
Resentment is Eating You Up
On Saturday night I witnessed a horrendous drunken fight on the dance floor, all of them fully grown men (many of them were fathers).
I remember thinking to myself “It’d only happen in my hometown.” Of course, that’s not correct, men can have a royal rumble in any other place in the world, but the truth is the resentment for my hometown had reached a dizzy height.
This experience gave me the opportunity to pick something else I didn’t like about my hometown and like a snowball, it got bigger and bigger.
Can you relate? I think it’s a bit like a romantic relationship; When you start resenting your city like that, you really should end the connection before it gets any uglier.
People will tell you; “It’s not the place, it’s what you make it.” Deep down, every fibre of you knows it’s way more complex than that. I can’t pretend to love something that I don’t, can you? Should you do that to yourself?
Constant Jealousy Triggers
True jealousy is a pretty ugly emotion to have and I’d suggest working on it if it’s a constant feeling that you experience and are negatively affected by.
However, if you’re green with envy every time you hear something along the lines of “When I studied Spanish in Colombia….” “I lived in Mexico for a year….”I’m moving to Cambodia as an expat,” then this a great inclination of what you want.
Don’t put it on too high of a pedestal. Believe that this is for you and not just for other people, even if feel like you had a rough ride and that others had a headstart on you. In fact, believe it even more if that’s the case. You’ve got no more time to waste!
Never give up on yourself, get your chin up and light that fire under your arse to get moving so that you can leave your hometown as soon as possible.
If you want to live in Paris/Sydney/Vancouver/a different town/state in your country (or wherever the hell ever) then start working on making it happen.
Check no experience paid relocation jobs on Jooble if you are willing to move from your town.
The chances are the same people who have moved to a brilliant new city had pretty much the same fears and doubts as you. I felt incredibly jealous when I read my first travel blog.
I acted on my jealousy, I used it as a driving force. I wanted a piece of the pie – why should everyone else have all the fun?
Get your mindset right that you are worthy of better than what you currently have and run away like a terrified gazelle running from a lion from anyone who tells you otherwise.
The Weather
Hating the climate of your birthplace and wanting a better one for your personality is a perfectly viable reason to make a grand exit to a city that suits your climate preferences.
To be perfectly honest, this one should have been right at the top of my list.
I absolutely loathe the cold and cold rain, I think snow looks pretty on a postcard but not on my frozen fingers and don’t even get me started on the fact that my hometown is mostly dark all year around!
Season Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real thing and I knew deep down that I am a better person when there is daily sun, so I made sure I went looking for it and I was not wrong.
You could be the other way around and dislike hot temperate clients and your hometown is a constant furnace. The same set of rules apply; go chase the snow and cold!
Unlearning Negative Beliefs & Behaviours
If you move from your hometown there will be no more self-fulfilling prophecies that hold you back. Maybe you feel like the “can’t catch a break” guy, or you feel pressured to act the clown to all of your friends while deep down feeling that nobody takes you seriously?
When you leave your hometown you will learn so much about yourself and a lot of those things can be confronting and challenging.
The good thing about this is you can learn to unlearn all of those self-limiting beliefs and behaviours that have been holding you back.
Different Things To Do
I frequented the same old bar and clubs where I got to the point where I knew what song the DJ was going to play in chronological order.
I knew all of the stories that were recycled each week and even with the best intentions I had run out of things to do in my hometown and even nearby larger cities.
Travelling or moving to a larger city opens up so many doors for you in terms of new activities, skills that you can learn and life experience.
Never in my life did I think I’d speak Spanish, climb technical mountains in Asia, or study Okinawan longevity…and this is to name only a few.
My horizons broadened beyond words when I left home.
You Dream of a Fresh Start
I wanted to have a fresh start, I want to press the reset button and start all over again. I felt that I had been treading water for way too long, was painfully aware of my own faults and mistakes and I desperately needed a blank canvas.
What other way is better than leaving your hometown for good and starting out in a completely new place to reinvent your life?
There is no better way.
“Burning your bridges” is usually used in a negative context as its origin is a little misunderstood when it is used today. It was initially used for a situation where you basically gamble so hard on yourself that there is no plan B, no option to turn back and the only option that you are left with is to move forward.
That’s what I did and I don’t regret a single thing.
You Hear This Song & Relate To Every Bloody Lyric
Ok, maybe it’s a bit too close to home for me as it encapsulates working-class lad culture in Northern England, if you can relate – then it’s a telltale sign that your hometown of birth isn’t your forever home.
You’ll probably have other songs, books or movie references of your own that really tap into your uncomfortable feeling of being homesick for an unknown place and if that is the case then stop pissing about; make leaving your hometown a top priority.
The universe isn’t “telling you something” at this point; it’s screaming it to you right in your restless, antsy face.
Start listening to it.
Leaving Your Comfort Zone
While all of the above can be classed as leaving your comfort zone, there is every bit of chance that just reading this article can raise your dopamine levels and make you feel like you’re actually taking action, as you nod along in confirmation bias.
I used to do the same thing. I was a personal development/self-help book slut. I read and read but very seldom did I do.
Even sitting in your hometown complaining about wanting to leave your hometown is being in your comfort zone, you’re comfortable with being miserable. Shake things up, make ‘Operation: Escape’ happen and start working on a road map to a new place.
Does that thought feel uncomfortable?
GOOD. You’re on the right track already. Get busy and get out.
I Left My Hometown After Writing This Post (Forever)
Good news to anyone who read this, feeling every word resonating with them… I did it (and you can too).
Pretty much a year after writing this article, I took a risk on myself by flying on a one-way ticket to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, with only £1000 in my pocket, no income and zero plan.
Everything was new; the smells, the food, the diverse range of people I met, the weather, the language… all of it brand-spankingly new.
I felt the most alive that I ever have in my life, I felt reborn.
After completely resetting who I thought I was, I started to learn more about myself and I had to unlearn a lot of negative thinking that I learned growing up in a city that never quite “got” me (and I never got it either).
After trying out living in a new city first (Phnom Penh), I realised it wasn’t for me. I then tried out another one and came up with the same conclusion. Did this leave me feeling more hopeless?
Hell no!
These cities may have not been perfect (for me) but they (amongst a few others that I tried out) taught me a lot about who I am, what was important to me and what I want in life.
After years of searching, I have finally found my city. And do you want to know something quite beautiful? I had already lived in this city once over, and soon after finally leaving my hometown, I think I knew deep down in my subconscious that it was the place for me.
The city had a homely energy from the first moment that I arrived. As much as it pulled me, I had a “grass is always greener” mentality and went on to compare it to a few others.
I understand that most people reading this are not in a position to bounce around like this. I personally gambled on myself and made sure that I would be in a position to live in a few cities during my lifetime by nailing down online income.
You don’t have to do that and you should walk your own path.
The moral of the story; is I could have easily written this article all those years ago, got off on that sweet dopamine rush of social media engagement and fallen back into a fixed mindset mentality and just accept that I had to accept things as the way that they were.
Instead, I used it as a galvanising war cry and I took a risk on myself. If you feel like you are in the wrong city, you need to make it a priority to get the hell out of there, with no apologies.
Become the person that you want to be, which is a bonus reason to leave your hometown!
Oh boy. I think I can tick off at least 8 of these…
The ‘heard it before’ one really resonated with me. All conversation seems to resolve around how much they drunk, how many people they slept with or which shoes they’re going to buy. So bored.
So, songs. If you haven’t yet listened to Frank Turner, you need to. Listen to the lyrics for this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQMVHhxTtLc this one:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfGLzDQ7e-k and this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAry_rMAF-c&playnext=1&list=PLF0C2D328CE783741
Let me know what you think.
I SERIOUSLY like the sound of this lad, Sarah. I just listened to that Photosynthesis one, 3 times in a row 🙂 Thanks! I’ll be doing some more You tube searches for sure.
Yep yep, I’m sure I’m guilty of repeating myself too-and I’m equally as bored of my own stories, so I’m going to get me some new ones!
Good article 🙂
Reason # 3 is creepy but hillarious! Hahaa, if it ever happened to me I’d definitely move away (I guess it’s a bit unlikely though when you live in a city of 2.8 million inhabitants).
A reason that I’ve come up with when thinking of my own list is not having the opportunity to develop and grow as a professional. I know I have a lot of potential but, unfortunately, I feel that my country is not giving me the chance to take it to the top. I totally believe that if the place where you live is not offering what you need/want, then you should pack up your bag and move foward. No matter how scary it may be, life is short and the world is large so do something before it’s too late.
In my case, I love my country and city, I love many aspects of my culture but hate this selfish and amazingly contradictory society. So I’ll leave for a while and come back some day to keep on enjoying my beautifully semi-tropical country.
If you stay in the corner of the street of your house, you’ll never grow up because the world and life it’s out there.
I think another important point is the economy: I’m making a tremendous effort to get my degree and I know it would be nice to stay in my country and give it back what it’s public education had given to me, but I also want to get a good paid for all the work I’ve doing through all these years and maybe Argentina is not the best option (greedy? a little maybe, I said we’re selfish people…).
As regards the cat fight, I’m sorry to disappoint you but you’ll find that everywhere I guess, haha.
Travelling, being in different places and in contact with different cultures make me feel alive and it’s also very educational so I don’t see anything wrong in it. There you have another reason: learning. Is there any better way of learning about a culture, place and it’s people than being in direct contact with it? I don’t think so. I personally believe it’s a great way of learning about yourself too.
So there you have my reasons and opinion about your nice and interesting post.
Share the wanderlust, share the love.
Pam
xxx
Pammy Landro, Pammy Landroooooo. Haha I can’t imagine it happening in Buenos Aires and hey it’s not my fault-it takes two to tango! (See what I did? See what I did???)
Yes I think moving to enhance ones career prospects is a very good reason to leave a city and I get the feeling it’s something that you’re considering. Is Spanish/English translating a very competitive field in your country then? I really like what you said about giving back to the community that you are receiving from, nice thinking.
Being greedy isn’t a bad thing at times. Giving up is what I have gripe with, I say get more hungry and greedy. Instead of following the flock and people pleasing-shut out the noise and ask your greedy self what s/he truly wants. After Saturday it’s very clear I’ve shared a little too much love Pamela haha 😛
xx
PS Pam,
This was not a mere “cat fight.” No. This was sadistic bitches sent from hell. Heels in faces, punching, head-butting. Very un-lady like.
I would like to say Frank Turner is awesome and surely you could have found some jimmy for No.10?
I resented my home town a bit before I left, I didn’t want to because I know deep down I like it but I was picking on every little detail, despite, like you said, much of it goes on everywhere.
Hahaha mate, I base my whole life on the lyrics of “crocodile shoes” so I was trying to think outside the box. Jimmy Nail really is the Geordie Elvis 😛
I know that’s true but I do think it’s a sign to move on though. How do you feel about your town now you’re in Thailand then? You didn’t spam me this time 🙂
Forget my town – I now think the whole country is backwards! but it was a great place to grow up and has everything anyone could need, could have been worse, god forbid I could have been born further up north…
Hmmm I’m looking forward to the day I can relate or look in to that. Now mate, don’t be getting jealous because you can’t brag about such talented people from your area such as Jimmy…..and Mr Bean.
I love this post, it definitely resonates with me. Especially #7 – I think it’s always good to look on the bright side of life (to borrow from Monty Python). But why settle if you have the ability to go for something better? I know compared to many people I’m lucky to have the life and opportunities that I have, but this doesn’t mean I have to settle for staying in the same city my entire life. I live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada… it’s not a bad city, it’s okay. But I don’t want to live with okay forever. I’ll actually be here for another two to three years for school, but I’m hoping to study abroad for a bit next year. I’ve given myself a 6 months after graduation to move somewhere new, basically for all the reasons you posted (except #3 – haven’t had that happen). I know if I stay in Edmonton my will always be the same, nothing will change, or get better, I’ll never be challenged, or grow as a person. My entire life will just blur together. That’s not what I want. I want moments that stand out, I want a life that I’m proud and happy to live.
Also I love that song. I’ve never heard it before, but it’s going to stuck in my head for a while.
Thank you, Alouise! It’s funny you should ask; “why settle when you have the ability to go for something better?” I have just a few hours ago published a post on my arguments to why being greedy (a certain kind of greedy) can lead to good things. I guess the two posts are linked to my state of emotions right now because I’m so hungry..
I’ve just Googled your place and it seems quite impressive but if you want to explore than I don’t see why you should hang around longer than you need to. You seem to know from a very young age that you want to travel, I was the same and urge you to not lose sight of it or you’ll turn grumpy, trust me 🙂
Yes I hope number 3 doesn’t happen to you, it’ll creep you out. However it’s not as seedy as it sounds! The band is called “The Enemy” and I don’t think they made it too successful outside of the UK!
Better late than never? 🙂
I really laughed with your Tango comment!! As regards En/Sp translating here…there are many companies and clients who believe that anybody that has a regular knowledge of the language can translate…that is so untrue!! Not even teachers can translate, you need a totally different training. Added to that, we have the problem of Google translator (and any other translation machine), a machine will never get the accuracy and quality of a real translator. But I guess those are problems that translators will have to face in any part of the world. The thing is that if I can get paid 3 or 5 times more than the regular Argentinian fee for my job, I want to get that (depreciation will always be our worst enemy).
Can’t wait to catch up with your posts!
Love,
Pam
xx
I WILL NOT DIE IN THIS CITY!! We use to say that to each other ALL the time 🙂 xx
Hahaha Emma
I remember shouting it on one drunken night 🙂 And I am true to my word!!! 🙂 xx
People “create” lives in their home cities, their lives become boring, boredom expands to fill more and more time. Some people live what is basically the same dumb day every single day, with small variations on the (boring) theme. Same (annoying?) people, same streets, same dreaded job….
That’s how I see it. A lot of people want out of their LIVES and not just their city. Crede experto!
That’s what I did. I didn’t just leave a city. I left behind a boring, meaningless, mind-numbing, spirit-killing routine.
Yes, this note comes a bit late, but I had the same experience as you (again), so I figured I’d mention it.
Hey Dean,
I LOVE it when people comment on old posts! Old school haha. You may have a point, it’s the actual environment IN the city itself. The monotonous lives we create and feel trapped and suffocated by is worth an escape from.
I hate routine.
Love this article!!! all 10 reasons resonated with me …
you know, its the people that are actually ambitious and challenge oriented who try to do things to change their current ‘dull’ circumstances …
I never doubted my decision of an upcoming move (from toronto to vancouver – 6 more weeks!) … but, just reading this blog really reinforced why Im doing this. Im going through a career change and have been on this journey of self discovery for more than a year and a half now … and I can tell you, I finally feel like this is the best decision I am making for myself.
To all the people out there that want to move … stop thinking .. do it! PROPS for facing challenges in the FACE! :o) May you be forever successful in your personal endeavors
-peace out
Hey Rosy,
Thanks, I really enjoyed it back in the day when I wrote it, was really raw and I STILL mean every word. Hey if Toronto is not for you – then you are doing the right thing and taking affirmative action – good on you! Let me know how you get on 🙂
I could tick off at least 9 out of 10 of these. Considering the ‘make it happen’ part, not to sound pessimistic but its certainly not easy. I wish there was someone I could ask for advice on about this as people in my life have not been helpful. Although it boils down to one factor; the recession. I can’t fault them on that, money and jobs are tight.
I have been wanting to move out of my home city for years and putting personal fears aside (moved to a city far away from my home city to study at uni years ago, had a breakdown and came back. Haven’t gone far since due to fears I’ll screw up again) I realise that I have next to no knowledge of how to plan for moving to a new city. Especially if its two hours away. Like what comes first? A job there before moving into a flat/houseshare, or visa versa? I’m green at this I feel.
As for my personal issues I know I gotta tend to those first or I’ll just repeat failure no matter where I go. My main concern is how to plan ahead. I’m not so confident in that. I’m not afraid to admit that.
Anyway your article was very informative and certainly made me realise I got to take the jump. Hope I land on my feet. Cheers Anthony.
Hey Shaz,
I don’t think you saying that it’s not easy sounds pessimistic at all, I think it’s very realistic! It’s far from easy, it’s bloody hard, but in my experience – worth it! You can ask me for advice any time, I’m only an email away 🙂
The recession is certainly a factor, but it’s not the sole reason to stop an individual acting. I also felt that there was no one to turn to when I was in your position, so I decided to tune into my gut instinct and to ask advice from those on the same path as myself. From what you’re telling me, I would definitely work on your personal issues right now, so you are more confident in making the transition happen when you decide to take the step again.
It’s good that you admit what you’re afraid of Shaz, that’s the first step 🙂
This article definitely hit home for me. I can identify with these points 100% and am already in the process of seeking change for “ME”.
I came back to my home city after travelling for 10 years. I had changed, the city not so much. You can never, ever go back… it just doesn’t exist like you remember anymore. Don’t waste the time! Still looking for home, but on my terms… 🙂
I left my city of Sacramento, California about 18 years ago when I was just a teen and have not looked back. Since then I have lived in a few foreign countries and have traveled quite extensively. I found this blog by doing a quick Google search because I now live in Salvador, Brazil and it is driving me insane. I mean, I ended up living here because I had been here 7 or 8 times on extremely long holidays (4 or 5 months at a time) and I was involved in a relationship (still am, kind of), so about 2 years ago I left my adopted city of New York City and moved here to Salvador, Brazil, even though I keep an apartment in New York just in case. Everything about this city is starting to bug me and I swear most of the people are retarded. I am fortunate enough to work for myself as an English teacher and living 2 blocks from the beach is not a bad perk, but this city is really starting to make me feel sick. My plan was to stick it out until December, but last night I almost packed my bags and said goodbye. I have a habit of leaving when things get a little tough and about 2 years ago I told myself that I would make more of an effort to finish things that I start because I don’t think quitting is always the answer. Alas, I think quitting is the answer this time…lol. Life is way too short to be unhappy.
I hope you have left your city and found happiness somewhere you truly love!
Hey Lee,
Still wandering but very, incredibly happy 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
I was searching the internet for people who felt the same exact way as me, and, well, I found it!! Thank God. And thank you Anthony. I’ve lived in my city since the day was born, close to exactly 23 years. I’m so sick and tired of living in this tiny little city, to say the least. All of the reasons you’ve posted above I have found I have in common with. I basically live in a retirement city, where the rest of America comes to die – SWFL. I’m bored beyond belief, and there is no mental stimulation here whatsoever. I’m surrounded by walking corpses and close minded jerks going nowhere in life. No outdoorsy adventures, no big parks to walk in, no shows/concerts/events coming to town, no new blood, no art/culture/music/nightlife, no ideas, no good. I have no challenges except for going to school, but that’s even hard to concentrate on because I’m so unhappy here. Identity crises happen to me on a daily basis, quite sad if you really think about it. I don’t know whether to accept myself for who I am or to change, and if I would change, what would I change into? Who would I be? I’m still trying to figure it out, and this city isn’t helping. Everyone’s basically at the same place they were 5 years ago – no competition, no reason to get better, be better, or improve oneself. And, as far as exes go, I know of at least four guys who I’ve dated here who ended up knowing each other somehow or becoming friends in the past few years or months just because EVERYBODY KNOWS EACHOTHER! It’s like incest almost. Negative energy is all over around here, whether if its on Facebook, or real life drama, it’s the same shit, different day. Same drama, same places, same faces. If a story gets told by someone, half the town already knows about it the next day, so I can relate to that one too. Drinking isn’t helping either, probably making it worse. Going out to bars seeing the same people you see every weekend doesn’t help with your problems either. I’ve also been told to stay positive too, and that “you’ll get out some day…” and that it’s not the city, it’s what you make of it. I try my best to make the best and it doesn’t work, plain and simple. I often see friends who have moved from my tiny little city to big, colorful, dynamic cities, my exes have moved on to get married, have kids, and live somewhere else, and people I used to attend school with have gotten degrees and live all over the world – and I am neon green with envy. A fresh start is something I dream of every day and I can see myself evolving into the person I think I might want to be in this day dream, with new friends, loves, activities, and hobbies. Theres no room to grow here, and it’s time to get out. I’m trying my best to finish my B.S. in Health Studies, but the time seems to creep by ever so slowly. Once I finish my degree I plan on moving from Naples, FL to Fort Lauderdale, FL. So much bigger city with more opportunities and people to meet. I’m getting out, slowly but surely. If i find I don’t like Fort Lauderdale I plan on moving to Hawaii or California somewhere after I get my Doctorate. Glad to see I’m not the only one who feels this way and every day feels the need to leave!!!
Hey Kristine,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment 🙂 You sound SO MUCH like me a few years ago – I got out of the bubble and it was the best thing that I did.That anger and resentment you are harbouring – don’t stifle it and use that energy until you get your certificate and get out of that place! What’s the worse that could happen?
I can guarantee your hunger will open up many doors. Don’t accept anything if it makes you unhappy! Keep your chin up 🙂
Anthony
haha…I can relate…especially the "push the restart button" part….just want some "fresh air and new experiences"
Haha does that mean an escape is underway?
Yeah this all gets to me… I’ve kept myself stuck in my small town in Australia… Even before finding this article I’ve quit my job, sold my things and am getting in my car and traveling through this beautiful land to hit the reset button wherever I may find it 🙂 Perhaps it’s on another continent or maybe it’s a series of buttons you have to press on the way…?
Good luck with your reset button 🙂
Right on. I’ve been living in Belgium my entire life and I’m soo bored of it! I feel like I’ve seen it all, done it all. I’m not even going out anymore because I can predict who I’m going to run into, the same people that were at the same bar or pub 3 years ago. My friends are boring and like the routines they are going through, so they’re not really helping either. I can honestly say I was depressed these last 2 years of what was going on. I was so sick of the daily routines I had to face, seeing the same people, the same streets, the same places day in and day out. I need new stimuli! I need adventure. And so I gave up my apartment, sold my car, about to quit my job in 4 months and go to Australia for a year! I got a working holiday visa, so I can work there as well. Although I love my family, I hope I can start a new life on the other side of the planet 🙂
I relate to pretty much every point you listed here (except for #3 oh lord…)
Funny I left my home city of Toronto for grad school in Boston and thought this was great, I’ll be living on my own and can get away from bad family situations at the same time. It’s been 3 years now and I hate this place. I never knew how good I had it at home. I can’t wait to move onto the next place. New York, Chicago, Seattle, London? Who knows. And then one day I’ll move back home because it’s awesome but I want to see the world first 🙂
Seattle is alright. New York City is way more exciting
When I moved to Hawaii for a fresh start after my husband passed I was very happy. But I have been here for almost 7 years and this town is small Pahoa town. The island is small and now I feel like its time for me to fly again….to Costa Rica~
“I can categorically state that I don’t want to die in this city.”
I have said that to myself on more than one occasion. In fact, after I do leave here, I never want to come back just in case I got into an accident and died here!
Thank God I’m almost to the point where I can sell my house and move away! Counting it down.
Thanks for the post.
I am so happy to have found someone who feels (or has felt) the same way as me. I could relate to several of your points, but my situation is a bit different. I live in a large city, Mexico City, and I absolutely hate it with a passion. People in general don’t respect anything, they are rude, and don’t you dare complain or anything because they are already insulting you. Also, I’m sick of protests on a nearly daily basis. And I truly cannot relate to people here. I’ve socialized more whenever I’ve left for holidays.
On another note, various close relatives have died here and well, I feel the need for a fresh start, just like you said it “press the reset button and start all over again”. I suffer identity crises on an almost daily basis. I sometimes don’t even know what I want for myself. Let me mention that these doubts clear-up whenever I leave on vacation. Also, no matter what, this negative energy I’ve mentioned keeps dragging me down no matter what I do to stay positive, not to mention I literally explode inside whenever someone speaks about their experience living somewhere else, similar to you.
Many people tell me I’m insane for wanting to leave. On the one hand, I’m actually very grateful I was born here and not in some extremely poor town somewhere else. But on the other hand, why not work to get to live where you’ll be comfortable, happy, and enjoy this wonderful gift called life. I’m just “surviving” until I get my degree to start “working full-time” on moving away.
I won’t put up with this and be miserable all my life!
Thank you so much for writing this article. It truly got to me and helped me find my motivations.
Regards,
Ivan
When you wrote “bloody” I thought you were a blight hahaha. This is a good article. I think your country is cold, dark and wet with bad teeth and little sun and this could account for the increasing craziness of the people.
It looks like you covered half of the globe hahaha. Good. Made a few grand on the computer and lost it? Start over. Money isn’t everything, happiness is. This is something a lot of people still don’t get but huh? Oh you’re an online moneymaker and you only travelled to countries ruled by Blight Empire and not China. Okay bye.
Haha agreed about the cold and dark and awful teeth (although I got veneers) – have you ever been to the UK?
Yeah ‘money isn’t everything’ but so many things are not everything. Money is important and shouldn’t be devalued – same goes for happiness. Why choose one and be a martyr? Go for both!
It’d be hard to visit a country not invaded by the British Empire. I’d really narrow down my opportunities: http://www.humanosphere.org/basics/2013/08/map-of-the-day-where-the-brits-never-invaded/
I’ve been to Paraguay and Guatemala though – they were never colonised by us 😀
Same exes!! Hahaha 🙂
Wow, Wonderful Post. . . Traveling is really a good thing in life,infact it’s everything
I saw myself in this article. The problem is that I’m 17, I wanna move to study but now my dad needs care cos of his health and i cant leave him and my mother. He had a stroke and I dont think he will get better in the next years. But I am feeling suffocated here. I have no job, I am feelin depressed and anxious. I dont what to do. Great article, thanks.
I want to get my truck and move out into a country where every neighbor is at least five miles away.
I want to get my truck and move out into the country where I have neighbors at least five miles away.
fucking doing it
I am feeling trapped here. No plan for the children. Nobody cares if you eat or not, work or not . When you are sick nobody cares. you will die and get rid or dispose of just because, you will smell and be a nuisance to the rest living. No child care, old people care, health care. No encouragement and everyone around you is greedy. Very difficult to find like mind people around you. This is Nigerias description. Have to move for the future of the children i have.
Sometimes we need to leave our city to explore some places locally or internationally. i’m a traveler as well i really love to travel to explore something different culture and mostly their food.
by the way this article is great 🙂
Thanks for sharing
I’m in NYC . Not very happy about it . I work plenty and live small . I’m a basement apartment . Travel time to work is 1.5-2hours one way . There’s very little space and hardly any quiet where ever you go . The quality of living is very low . Throughout it all I make the best of it . But I long to get out of the city and move to a area near the mountains that is normal . Normal in as I can stretch my arms out in my domain , have a home that doesn’t resemble a 3rd world shack without spending my entire income on it , a place I can have my own quiet space to wander and explore . I have about a year and a few months that I can be able to leave . Making the best of it until then .
I have never wanted to live in Indiana. I was here only through association of my parents. I don’t like anything about this place. I don’t like passing places that I spent time with my dad and sister while they were still alive. All of my relatives die between October to December. So once the fall and winter hit, not only do I have the memories, I also have a physical smack in the face, seeing all of the dead trees and feeling the cold air on my face. I do not want to die here.
For 2 years, I have been planning my move from Indy to Nevada, tying up loose ends. Getting my 2 oldest children through their graduations etc. Move day is right around the corner now. June 27th, 2019. Oddly enough, I paid $3900 in car repairs this past week. Only to leave the repair shop with a completely different and possibly expensive transmission issue.
I feel like this state does not want to let me leave. Is the universe telling me to stay? Is it giving me a shove to go? I don’t know. With all of the money I had put back for my move has dwindled to nothing. I’m not even sure I can leave, even though I am desperate to leave. I read on a different article about the universe about 30 minutes ago. It said to come up with your own specific sign. Mine was 46, for a very specific reason. I wanted it to be specific so I could get a better answer from the universe and as I’m typing this, I look down and see that there are 46 comments in this specific article.
I think it’s time to fly.
I think articles like this are so good at making people think about getting out there and travelling… Leaving my hometown to travel was one of the best decisions I’ve made 🙂
Omg, that advice about acting on your jealousy was so good! Did not think of it that way. Thank you!
I found your article very inspiring and can totally associate with alot of the types of feelings your describing. I’ve been living in Dublin, Ireland nearly my whole life. I’ve travelled a fair amount but I know its not holidays I really want it’s to move away and live somewhere new. Now we’re in a pandemic and it’s very hard for anyone to travel but at some stage this will change and I hope I can live a better life. Something else that is making it very clear to me that I need a change is that I’m not missing my pre-pandemic life much. I wasn’t living the type of life I wanted. So thanks for your great article and inspiration.
I feel the same way. So many of these resonate. It’s time!
You’ve had such amazing experiences Anthony! 100 countries! I started my travel blog, Visit50 / https://www.Visit50.com , to inspire people to visit 50 countries by age 50. You’ve gone WAY past that! Congrats!
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